Children have an uncanny ability to ask for their first sleepover – and many that follow – at the last minute, when there’s little time to discuss and prepare. If you haven’t determined a sleepover policy by the time your child enters kindergarten, Alzein Pediatrics says it’s time to examine the pros and cons and put guidelines into place for your family.

The Never Sleepover Position

For many families, sleepovers are simply not allowed. Reasons may include:

• Worries about a child’s sleep schedule being disrupted
• Concern that food choices won’t be healthy
• Fear of inappropriate media or bullying
• Discomfort with a child being in someone else’s home overnight

Alzein Pediatrics respects this position completely. We understand that dealing with a sleep-deprived, sugar-laden child the next day can be stressful, on top of worrying about your child all night.

The New Sleepunder Movement

These get-togethers provide all the fun of a sleepover without any expectation of actual sleep. Kids gather in their pajamas, socialize, and get a taste of independence. Parents pick up their children around their usual bedtime, so everyone still gets a good night’s rest.

Benefits of “sleepunders” include:

• Kids who aren’t comfortable staying overnight don’t feel left out
• Less chance of anti-social behavior
• Hosting parents enjoy a night’s sleep without constant overnight worries

For the Traditionalists

If you’re fine with sleepovers, take a moment to think carefully before you answer your child. Consider these questions:

• Is your child ready to be away from home all night?
• Are you ready for them to be away? (It’s okay if you’re not!)
• Do they still need help in the middle of the night?
• Do they tend to sleepwalk or wander?
• Do they know what to do in an emergency?
• Do they know how to contact you, and is there a phone available?
• Do they have special needs the host can handle?

You’ll also want to know the hosting family well before a sleepover:

• Who will be home overnight?
• What are their rules around media?
• Are there guns in the house, and how are they stored?
• Does anyone smoke or use drugs?

Trust your instincts. If you or your partner are uncomfortable with the situation, it’s best to say no.

A Quick Tip

Given the social pressures of sleepovers, choose a “safe-word” or phrase your child can use to indicate they do or don’t want to sleep over. For example, if they say, “Can I have a sleepover?” they mean yes. If they say, “Can I have a sleepover or not?” they’re signaling they want you to decline.

Hosting a Sleepover

A clear sense of rules and expectations helps everyone prepare for a successful night. Walk children through the rulesand explain how the evening will unfold. Get contact information for each child’s parent or guardian.

Experts suggest:

• Having some structured activities to keep kids occupied
• Opting for healthier snacks and water
• Making sure everyone gets rest, including you!

Final Thoughts

Your sleepover policy should be decided by the adults in your family before any requests come up. While sleepovers with good friends can be a great social experience, they’re not a requirement of childhood. If there’s any hesitation from parents or kids, daytime playdates are a perfect alternative.

Do you have questions about your child’s sleep habits? Send your Alzein Pediatrics provider a message through your portal. We are always happy to help!